It's Actually Not Crap
The name is a problem. You hear "Crap Eyewear" and you think gag gift, dollar store, the kind of sunglasses that snap the first time you sit on them. That reaction is exactly what the founders wanted. They named the company in 2009 as a middle finger to the sunglass industry, which had spent decades convincing people that UV protection costs three hundred dollars and requires Italian branding. The name stuck because the contradiction stuck: these are genuinely good sunglasses that refuse to take themselves seriously.
Pemulis Water & Power • February 2026
What You're Actually Getting
Every pair of Crap sunglasses ships with the same core spec. Frames are plant-based bioacetate — made from wood pulp and cotton fiber, biodegradable, petroleum-free. The hinges are stainless steel, five-barrel construction, which is the same hinge architecture you'd find on frames that cost four or five times as much. Lenses are CR-39 optical grade with full UVA/UVB protection. The wire-core temples hold their shape. They come in a custom hard case. And every frame is Rx-ready, meaning any optician can swap in prescription lenses.
The price point sits between $79 and $130 for most styles. The collab and limited editions sometimes push higher. But the baseline build quality doesn't change between the cheapest pair and the most expensive one — you're paying for colorways, acetate patterns, and artist licensing, not better materials.
Crap is also certified carbon-neutral, which they don't make a big deal about on the packaging but is worth knowing. The bioacetate production process generates significantly less waste than traditional petroleum-based acetate manufacturing.
The Collaboration Machine
What separates Crap from every other sub-$150 sunglass brand is who they work with. This isn't a company that sponsors athletes and calls it a collab. These are actual design partnerships with people who have strong visual identities and specific opinions about what goes on their face.
Emma Chamberlain designed three frames — The Oliver (named after her cat), The Prima Donna (rimless with Swarovski crystals), and The Star Child. These are consistently their best sellers and they sell out regularly. Aminé did The Bugz, a bold oversized frame that matches his Portland maximalism. The Marías contributed Cinema and Submarine, both oval silhouettes with a '70s silver-screen elegance that fits the band's whole cinematic aesthetic. Eyedress designed two frames — an oval and a wraparound — based on the dark glasses that have become his signature. Knocked Loose did The No Wave, a post-punk rectangle. FTP did a sport frame with a custom zipper case.
The less famous collabs are sometimes the best ones. Cabagges, a Brooklyn cooking duo, designed The Funk Punk and The Head Rattle. Hike Clerb, a decolonized hiking group, did a Heavy Tropix Sport edition. Black Image Center has an ongoing partnership on The Dream Cassette, with 20% of sales going back to the organization.
How to Pick a Frame Shape
Crap's lineup has over forty active styles, which is a lot to sort through. Here's how to narrow it down by what you're actually looking for.
Aviators: The Jazz Safari is their best-selling aviator — versatile enough for the beach, sleazy enough for a casino. The Groove Pilot is a more relaxed take. The Heavy Tropix is lightweight with heavy presence.
Rectangles and squares: The No Wave if you want angular and punk. The Dropout Boogie for a wider face. The Pop Control for an '80s gallery opening vibe.
Ovals and rounds: The Nu Bloom for retro-future energy. The Luv Buzz for '90s babydoll attitude. The Dream Cassette for understated cool. Cinema by The Marías for silver-screen elegance.
Cat-eyes and angular: The Gothic Breeze — punky, angular, not quite a cat-eye but definitely a cool cat. The Oliver by Emma Chamberlain for a modern take on the classic shape.
Wraps and sport: The Chaos Vault for high-octane wraparound energy. The Heavy Tropix Sport for outdoor utility. The FTP Sport for limited-edition heat.
Oversized: The Sweet Leaf and The Funk Daddy for going big. The Glass Bubble for downtown disco meets rock royalty.
Fit Guide
Most Crap frames are tagged with a fit — narrow, medium, or wide. This matters more than frame shape when it comes to comfort. If you've ever bought sunglasses online and they felt like a clamp or kept sliding off, you picked the wrong fit width.
Narrow fit: The Bikini Vision, The Dream Cassette, The Idle Daze.
Medium fit: The Funk Punk, The No Wave, The Nu Bloom, The Lucid Blur, Cinema by The Marías.
Wide fit: The Sweet Leaf, The Dropout Boogie, The Heavy Tropix Sport, The Jazz Safari, The Funk Daddy.
If you're between sizes, go wider. A slightly loose frame is comfortable; a slightly tight one gives you a headache in twenty minutes.
Why We Carry Them
We stock the full Crap Eyewear range at our shop on Judah Street — the largest selection in San Francisco. You can walk in and try everything on, which is how sunglasses should be bought. The frames look different on different faces and the colorways read differently in natural light than they do on a screen.
We carry Crap because the product is honest. The materials are the same as luxury brands. The construction is the same. The UV protection is the same. What's different is that nobody is pretending a pair of sunglasses is worth three hundred dollars because it has an Italian name on the temple. The name "Crap" is the most straightforward thing about the brand: it tells you exactly how seriously they take the fashion markup, and it tells you nothing about the quality.
If you're in the Outer Sunset, come try them on. If you're not, the product pages have fit information and multiple angles on every frame. And if you need help picking, reach out — we've put a lot of pairs on a lot of faces.